Moorpark is home to more than 36,000 residents, yet there are no walk-in crisis centers or shelters for victims of domestic abuse. But things are about to change.

Recently, residents at a city council meeting showed concern over instances of abuse inflicted by drunken partners and family members. Many speakers at the council meeting blamed the availability of alcohol for these incidents, but wherever the domestic violence stems from, the fact remains help isn’t readily available in the city.

By the Numbers

According to the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, results of a survey released less than a month ago showed that on a single day in 2010, 5,261 Californians sought domestic abuse services and 2,889 Californians sought emergency shelter.

According to another statistic posted by the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, about 40 percent of women—approximately 7,200 in Moorpark alone—will face physical intimate partner violence at least once in their life.

The statistics for men aren’t as easily available. Numbers exist; however, due to the cultural indignities that come with reporting female-on-male abuse or male-on-male abuse, male victims of domestic abuse chronically under-report it.

Mary’s Story
As safe and family-oriented as Moorpark is, domestic abuse happens here. It happened to a young women who, for her privacy, we’re calling Mary.

Mary decided to leave her emotionally and physically abusive boyfriend once and for all after he slashed his arms in a last-ditch effort to keep her under his thumb.

“He wanted me to feel guilty if he hurt himself or killed himself,” Mary said. “He knew I loved him and would do anything to help him. He used this to manipulate me. Finally, I said ‘enough is enough. What you do is not my fault.’ ”

It would be months before Mary was truly free of her boyfriend. Within a few weeks of breaking up with him, he showed up at her home and work looking for her. Luckily, she was able to hide when he came by.

“I heard him screaming at the door and pounding. I was so afraid,” she said.  

After he went on to vandalize her property, she filed a police report.

 “What I didn’t know was that getting a restraining order didn’t protect me that much,” she said. “He knew where I lived, where I worked, and where I went to school.”

She said that after the police visited the ex-boyfriend, she was afraid he’d retaliate and she was afraid to go anywhere by herself or walk anywhere at night without someone else.

Mary said her biggest frustration throughout the ordeal was what felt like the complete lack of local resources.

“Once I filed the police report, I was on my own and even more vulnerable than I had been in the relationship. The only available affordable counseling that I was aware of was through the school, and that was minimal at best,” she said. “They had to refer me to a crisis center outside of the city.”

Because it was so out of the way, she didn’t go to the center until months had passed and she had what she called “a breakdown.”

“When I finally went in, I learned that victims of abuse often suffer from a form of PTSD and need to go through similar steps of recovery as those who’ve faced war or addiction problems,” she said.

Help is on the way
Things are changing in Moorpark, though. The city will be breaking ground Friday for the Ruben Castro center, a set of buildings that will house a number of social services, including a walk-in crisis center operated by Interface Children and Family Services of Ventura County.

Currently, Interface, located in Camarillo, offers a number of services including mental health counseling, youth counseling, violence prevention programs, and offers a number of shelter options to those in need.

 According to Erik Sternad, executive director of Interface, the organization is planning on celebrating the sixth anniversary of the 2-11 referral program in Ventura County along with the beginning of the construction for the Ruben Castro center.

 The referral service can connect residents to whatever service providers they ask about, including emergency shelters, medical help, domestic abuse services, and transportation services.

“An operator can connect each person with any of the emergency shelters in the county,” said Sternad.

Some county shelters only allow short-term (up to 30 days) stays while others offer shelter for up to 18 months. There are also transitional homes available to those who need them. The addresses and phone numbers of the shelters are unavailable online and in the phone book for the ensured safety of those who need the service. 

 “The best way to find a shelter is by dialing 2-11, or going to a walk-in crisis center,” Sternad said.

How to Help Yourself
According to the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, the best thing to do in lieu of having an available crisis center is be prepared in case of an emergency. If there is a confrontation, find a safe place to go while avoiding rooms without exits, like bathrooms, or rooms with weapons, like kitchens. Make lists of safe numbers and places to go. Have multiple copies stored in multiple places in case your partner finds one. Have an emergency bag with clothes, toiletries and necessities in case you need to leave without warning. Finally, come up with a “safe word” for relatives and friends if you need to call them for help without your partner knowing.

Once you’ve left, it’s important to change your e-mail and phone number and make sure employers, friends and family know not to give it out under any circumstance.

Be sure to save any documentation of the abuse including e-mails, threats, voicemails, police reports and any important documents like your social security card and passport.

Try not to be anywhere alone; however, if you must be by yourself, make sure someone knows where you’re going and when you should be back so they can call  the police if you aren’t around when you should be.

Finally, it’s important to vary your daily routine and to notify your employer and school (if applicable) about your situation. The more people who know, the safer you are.
If you think you or someone you know is an abusive relationship, listen to your intuition, notify people you trust, and get help.

The ground breaking ceremony for the Ruben Castro Human Services Center—which will be built on Spring Street, adjacent to the Police Services Building—is scheduled for 4 p.m Friday. Parking will be on Minor Street and Fitch Avenue, with access through the current Food Pantry/Catholic Charities property.