SO HARD TO SAY GOODYE....My Best Friend!

I just finished reading the bitter sweet story of the Lab who had a very special day, his last day on Earth. It broke my heart, as I had a similiar experience with my best friend, Mudewa, my feline of 14 enchanting years.

I found her at a cat shelter in Santa Barbara and strangely enough she was found in a lady's backyard roaming, at about 9 weeks old. The woman brought her to the no-kill shelter and there she was behind bars, when my three year old and I came to choose a kittie to celebrate our new apartment.

She was the only tiny furry thing that didn't come to the people, desperate for love and trying her best to impress. Instead, she stood back away from the bars and hissed, trying her best to be brave, courageous and strong. We fell in love with her immediately! My daughter held her as she hugged my child, I could see her true personality flourish.

From the day we took her home to our new place on CSUN campus, I knew she was very different than any feline I ever had before, and I've had cats since I was five ( yeah..a true cat lady in the making) She was aloof but also very much into my teen son and my daughter. At 6months old she was catching moles quicker than the eye could see and she bonded very lovingly with my ShiTsu puppy. They became fast friends, inseparable. Yet I noticed something very different about Mudewa ( which means "beloved" in Shona, S. African).

When my daughter was very sick, Mudewa stayed by her side night and day until my child was better. She did the same thing with me. When I was pregnant with my son, I was very ill and she refused to leave my side, laying with me in my bed for weeks, only leaving for quick moments to eat, drink and use the litter box. This lasted for three weeks! Shocking for me.

I soon realized, duh, that she was a healing cat....some cats have a purpose in life as they did before in other lives, as a healer. The Egyptians beloved this wholly and would keep their pampered sacred cat with them through all times, as a protector, to ward off any ills or danger. They were buried with their "protector" to keep them safe in the after world.

You can believe this or not, but one thing for sure, Mudewa was strange and seemed to be very attentive to the sick. She would often lay on your chest, a sign of domination and ownership of the human, but for a healer cat, a sign of protection to ward off any ills as well. I felt safe with her and protected..go figure!

Many years passed and we went through good and bad times with Mudewa. We spent a few months in a hotel with her and her dog and she adapted fine. She took trips in our car to see friends and family and seemed to love the ride. She had quirks, like loving potatoe chips, pork rinds and tuna with mayo. She was there for us and never seemed to mind any of whatever was going on.

( She did however rebel fiercely at the presence of any other felines. She wanted to be THE only cat in the house. WE foster cared 2 male cats and I thought WWIII broke loose. After much encouragement, love and patience she finally "tolerated" one male cat that we kept for my newest addition, my daughter with Downs. He was kept as a therapy cat for my child who actually encouraged and insisted that my child walk to keep up with him. .that's a whole other story for another time)

So life went on, two additional children Mudewa got to "nurse" back to health and protect regularly. After a few more moves, I began to notice my dear friend slowing down some. Being 10 years old now, I assumed it was just age. No! It turned out that she had feline AIDS...common among cats, especially non-pedigree. The vet said she was born with it and probably inherited it from her mom. I was devastated! What now? The vet said she's very healthy and the fact she made it to ten is quite remarkable. Nothing can be done but when the onset is noticeable, we will not have much time left.

OMG! Not my healer/protector? Why can't she heal herself? I guess it doesn't work like that!

So, the time unfortunately came that I dreaded desperately, She was 14 that May and it was now August. She had sniffles, a runny nose and eyes. We gave her medicines, she had xrays and IV treatment and nutrition...all futile attempts. Her time had come and $1000 later, it was time to face the inevitable, my best friend was going to leave me.

I planned her ending to the last detail. I had her favorite foods, potato chips, pork rinds and tuna with mayo. I had to mush the foods up, as it was difficult for her to chew with no strength left. I had a soothing Native American cedar flute music CD ready to play for her passing. Being a nurse, I was given the choice to euthanize her myself in the comfort of her home, like we do with our Hospice patients frequently. It was all set. The children were there to send her off to the after world.

That very morning I awoke to a strange happening....she was on my chest, like she always was every morning, except for weeks she couldn't get up on the bed....this day she managed somehow to protect me one last time. That's how I knew that day was the day for me to let her go.

With her family around her, dog as well, we had her comfortably laying on her favorite blankie as the medicine was administered. The cedar flute played softly, the sage burned in the background and we said " see you on the other side"...not goodbye. She passed peacefully and we prayed a few prayers and my best friend was no longer on Earth. I could feel her presence in the room and I knew she was at peace.

That was four years ago. I miss her everyday. I still put out some chips, pork rinds and tuna with mayo for her whenever I have those foods. I still wake in the morning thinking she's laying on my chest. I still feel her there with me when I am ill and I know she's there for the kids as well. The saddest thing to accept is the fact that she will never be replaced, ever, by any cat I may ever have. I love my "friends" dearly that we now live with, but there will never be another Mudewa, ever! Truly she was brave, courageous and strong her entire life and through this horrendous battle with AIDS, up to the very end. 

I thank God I had her all those years, through the good times and the bad...through the grueling years of college and divorce and sickness and births...just sharing life with the most remarkable living creature I have ever known and ever will. She's still with us, but in a different way, like when family passes on, and the comfort of knowing  that one day we will see each other helps me greatly. I just simply miss her, so much, every day.

And that's how it is with a best friend. It doesn't have to be a human..it can be a dog, like in the article I read, or a bird or even a snake. What matters is what the creature can mean to you and your existence and the love you truly share.

That's what friendship , a best friend , is all about! Love!    Namaste!